arthur b's free ride
MindenVille, NV to Albuquerque, NM (...and back)
March 2004

by arthur b

So, Wheezie mentions that her boss is going to Albuquerque tomorrow, and I can go along if I want! Oh yea, he's taking his private jet! Hmm... stare at my computer all day OR jump into a brand new Citation CJ2 jet? Keep in mind, I love to fly and I've never been in a corporate jet before. Work or fly? Work or fly? ...I started packing!

The "plan" was to fly with them to Albuquerque, get a rental car and meet my buddy Troy, have lunch, stay at some friends house, have some Mexican food and beers, and jump on a Southwest flight back home the next day. Piece of cake! Nobody will even know I'm gone.

The next day, we're up early to get to the airpoprt by 8:00am. I get all my jobs loaded on my laptop and off we go. About 9:15, we're "finally" at the plane. After admiring this beautiful jet for a few minutes, we load up, buckle in, and off we go!

The plane has seating for 6 passengers plus pilot and co-pilot. On this flight, there are 4 of us plus the dog who loves to lay in the aisle. Within a few minutes, we were cruising at 37,000 feet going 470mph. From MindenVille, we followed the exact route that I drive in a car... Hwy 95 to Las Vegas, over Hoover Dam to Kingman, then east along I-40 to Albuquerque, only we cut a few corners and didn't have speed cops to worry about! It's 1,000+ miles and takes a good 12+ hours by car. It's still 1,000 miles by plane, but takes 2 hours! Pretty cool.

The flight was really smooth with good weather all the way... no clouds, but a lot of other airplanes! Lots! Let me tell you, it's pretty damn cool watching a small jet cross your path 2,000' above you at 470 mph!! The 2,000 foot/minute descent into Albuquerque was pretty cool too!

After a nice, smooth landing in Albuquerque [don't tell anyone, but I unbuckled my seatbelt so I could get up to see over the dashboard for the last 5 minutes of the flight and during landing!], we said goodbyes and I went to lunch with Troy, who afterwards dropped me off at the airport to get a car.

Well, this is where it started getting ugly... NO CARS in Albuquerque! NOT a single one to be had! S#@%!!! It seems (according to the nice lady at the information booth who saw me cussing) there's an RV convention in town... the BIG motorhomes... $500,000+ land yachts... like 10,000 of them! Now, I'm thinking that the high dollar motorhomes I see on the road are usually towing another $40,000+ vehicle behind them, making them about 100 feet long when you're trying to pass them, so why do they need a rental car? I don't get it, but I'm pissed and need a plan B!

Plan B:

Plan B was to call my good friend Bart Farkle who lives in the far northwest part of town. I'm in the far southeast part of town, of course, but Bart says "no problem, I'll be there in 30 minutes, what kind of beer do you want?" [ I TOLD you he's a GOOD friend! ] Thirty minutes later, Bart's there and we're off to Reneé's Tiki Bar [aka Roger's Roost Poolside Bar] for cocktails and laughs.

The next morning, I dropped Herbert off to pick up his other truck, and went to Kinkos with my laptop to do some work and get a flight home. Guess what, NO FLIGHTS either! It seems that this BIG motorhome convention is over tomorrow, and they're all flying home! S&$%!!! Now, I'm thinking, what do these people do? Do they hire someone to drive those things and just fly in, rent a car and hang out in the motorhome, then fly back home? And IF that IS the case, why don't they hire a REAL driver instead of the idiots I've seen driving them? I don't know, but I NEED a Plan C!

Plan C:

Plan C consisted of finding a flight out the following day, which there were only two of. I got a 9:50a.m. flight getting me home at 1:00p.m. OK, I'm good. $225 is a little steep, but hey. We hung out at Renée's Tiki Hut all afternoon before going to Hooters for wings and beers!

The next morning, Bart and Herbert were going to Texas, and said they'd drop me off at the airport on their way out of town. Well, on the way to the airport, we got hung up with [WHAT ELSE] all those frickin' motorhomes which were leaving town with their rented/hired drivers. S*%$!!

We finally made it to the airport, said goodbyes. Once inside the airport, I see a line with at least 500 people in it. Yep, that's MY line, I'm #501 and have 30 minutes to get on the plane and wasn't smart enough to get an "e" ticket online. S*%$!!! NO WAY I'll make it. I need a Plan D!

Plan D:

Plan D wasn't too hard to come up with... IF ALL those motorhomes are now on the road and there's a billion people trying to get on airplanes, there MUST be a shit load of rental cars available. Out I go to catch the shuttle. Being in a hurry now, I went for the shortest line... Budget, and got a car, $138.10 for 24 hours! S*^$!!!! It better go fast!

At 10:15a.m., I was west bound on I-40 with NO music to listen to and no radar detector... a dangeroous situation to be sure! Pretty soon, I was passed by a couple guys in a Toyota going 90+mph, so I followed them. Once, while in traffic, I pulled up next to them. rolled down my window and asked if they minded me "tagging along" behind them? "Sure" they said. "Where ya going" I asked? "Vegas" they said! Cool, now I have 500 miles covered.

We must have passed 300 motorhomes between ABQ and Flagstaff where they waved and went south on I-93. Damn, they said Phoenix, NOT Vegas. I slowed down to 80mph because I don't need anymore tickets, but was going nuts driving that slow, so I found a Walmart in Kingman and bought another radar detector.

I took a 3 hour nap in Tonopah and eventually made it home at 4:00a.m. My free ride cost $698.79 and 3 days... not too bad!